Post Travel Depression

Hi, my name is Emma. I’ve just returned home to the United States after nearly a year and a half of working in and traveling through Asia, and I have some SEVERE post travel depression going on. Trust me - whether you’ve just returned from studying abroad, a life changing vacation, or living in a different country: I see you, I feel you, I AM you.

Returning to “normal” life after an adventure is not easy by any means - especially if you’ve been away for a year or more. Sometimes it’s shocking to realize that even though you weren’t there, life still keeps moving at a rapid pace. When I came home, my friends had babies, engagement rings, husbands, new apartments, jobs, and friends. Finding your new place in the midst of that is really difficult - and I’m still working through it!

I’m going to start out by explaining the feelings I’m having, and then by sharing 3 ways I’ve been working to get over the post travel blues in the hopes that something will resonate with you, if you happen to be going through the same thing. Or if you know me personally, maybe you’ll understand a little more of where I’m at currently! We will get through this together.

It is currently day 45 of living in what I’ve lovingly deemed my “Pit of Despair,” and the transition home has been so much harder than I’ve expected.

Initially, I thought that the first few months would be fine - getting to reconnect with friends and family that I haven’t seen in literally over a year, having western comforts like Chickfila, a bathroom that isn’t set up like a wet room (why does Asia do that??), and acrylic nails - while the going would get harder once the novelty of being home had worn off.

That is NOT the case for me. My first night back at home - immediately after driving back from the airport - I literally sobbed to my parents about how unhappy I was to be home. I felt like the worst daughter in the world for it, and had to reassure them over and over that it wasn’t because I was unhappy to see them, but because of how lost I felt.

I’ve always been a planner. The plan ever since I was 14 was to move to South Korea after University, start a travel blog, and see the world. On the outside, someone could look at me and the past two years of my life and say, “Mission accomplished!”. And sometimes I am able to think that way as well. Sometimes I look at all that I’ve done, completely alone, and I’m so proud of myself.

Other times I only see how I’ve failed to make this travel blog a consistent form of income, and how because of that, the last step of the plan I had for my life (see the world) ended prematurely thanks to my bank account emptying a little faster than I anticipated.

So now me, the girl who always had a plan, is sitting at home, unemployed, with no plan. Yay:)

In addition the initial shock of being home with no plan after so many months of surefire adventures, America has just been extremely overstimulating. Between the holidays, grocery stores with unlimited options, book stores with everything in English, and lots of friends reaching out trying to make plans, I basically shut down and became a Hermit. Like, I even tried to look for jobs to apply for as I was holed up in my childhood bedroom, avoiding my phone and one million unanswered texts, but I couldn’t even think of something to type into the SEARCH BAR. That’s how lost and overstimulated I am.

As a result, I haven’t even reconnected with lots of people that I was initially so excited to see. Home doesn’t quite feel like home anymore, not when everyone I love and all the people that I met on my travels who changed my life are so so far away and scattered all over the globe - and the people back at home have carried on without me. (I know they still love me and have a place for me in their lives, but sometimes it’s hard to get my brain to be kind to me and believe that.)

Back to the job search. There are a million different ways I can see 2023 going. I could move to Spain in September to teach English again - that would be another adventure! I miss living in Spain and the easy access to the rest of Europe. My friend Victoria and I talked about going together, and a shared apartment in Madrid with my best friend, weekend trips to Paris, and using Spanish everyday sounds incredible.

Or I could work this whole year, throwaway jobs like bartending and retail, save up money and travel for 4-5 months at the beginning of next year. I think I’m leaning towards this option.

At the same time, I am dying for something permanent. I would love to buy a rug for my apartment and not wonder how I’m going to sell it 4 months later. I want a steady cast of characters for lack of a better way to describe it - a best friend, a relationship, a fun group of people to text in the group chat when you need advice. I feel like my life has gotten to the season where all the best characters leave and the viewers get upset and stop watching because there’s no way it can live up to the original seasons - if that makes sense??

I haven’t had permanence in quite some time, and while my current desire for adventure isn’t really conducive to permanence, that doesn’t mean I don’t long for it sometimes. I feel behind all my peers who already have masters degrees, are in amazing relationships, and a career that they love. I have none of these things!

Of course, I have a lifetime worth of memories, friends in 50 different countries, and have done things that some people only dream about. Like I said before though, it’s hard to keep things like this in perspective when they’re not an active part of my life anymore.

Anyways - still very much in my pit of depression. I’m slowly managing to crawl out though I think. Every step forward has a little stumble backwards, but I’m getting better. Here’s how I’m managing it.

Baby Steps
Like I previously mentioned, I thought the first few months were going to be easy. Unfortunately, the sheer amount of things to think about paralyzed me, and instead of taking advantage of everything that comes along with being home, I froze, stopped replying to my friends, and literally did not leave my house.
Something that’s helped is to just take things one step at a time. I have a checklist of people I want to see in the month of January that I’m slowly working through. While I hate that I have to have a list, I want people to know that I care about them and truly want to see them and quite frankly if I don’t have a list I’ll get overwhelmed and then end up texting nobody. And that would make me feely lonely and make my friends think I just don’t want to see them, and nobody wins. So, a list it is LOL.
It took me a month and a half to start applying for jobs, I had to delete apps that overwhelmed me and avoided interactions with people who would would inevitably ask me what my next plans were, bc I would burst into tears. It still takes me 30 minutes to find celery in a grocery store because there’s so many things to see and everything is written in English.
It may seem so silly or unbelievable, but you truly can’t understand what it’s like to go through reverse culture shock until you’re in public, able to eavesdrop on every conversation because, oh my gosh you can UNDERSTAND everything, and then you have to ask the person you’re actually talking with to repeat themselves three times because there’s too much background noise.
I understand you, and I don’t think your reverse culture shock is silly. Start with baby steps.

2. Get Excited

Another thing that has helped me is by making lists of things that I’m excited about being back in America. Obviously when you’re abroad, you have limited access to things that are readily available at home, and although I’m obviously not thrilled to be home, there are little joys to be found in everything.

Clearly I’m a list girl. I can’t be helped. But, for example, in South Korea, acrylic nails cost $10 dollars PER NAIIL. I can’t spend over $100 dollars on acrylics, so I went a year and a half without. My first day home (depressed as ever) I went straight to the nail salon, and the little burst of joy my inch long chocolate brown nails gave me was exactly what I needed. The next day I got a cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera Bread - and that was my little joy of the day.

Although my list of things I was excited to be home for was short, it’s always important to find happiness no matter where you are, no matter how silly or insignificant it may seem.

3. Start making new plans

Chances are, if you’ve spent extensive time abroad, the itch that comes from being bit by the travel bug won’t really die down. Something that’s helped me transition home and to keep the post travel depression at bay is to, while I absolutely cherish all the memories that came from my year and a half in Asia, not dwell on the past, but look to the future. Even though I might not travel at all this year (Minus maybe a one week trip to Europe to see my besties from Korea:’), I’m working on planning another backpacking trip that is going to be next level.

Researching travel gives me butterflies, and if it’s important to you, you’ll find a way to fit it into your schedule. I’m going to work full time this year, maybe even pick up two jobs. And while it’ll be hard to compare where I’m at this year compared to where in the world I was last year, I know that it’s all so that I can hop on another plane and have another epic, once-in-a-lifetime trip again this time in 2024.

Make plans, and find something to look forward to. It’ll help keep everything in perspective and give you a reason to get excited.

It’s easy to look at all the adventures you’ve had in your past travels and get discouraged if you’re back in the routine of being a student or working a 9-5, and I’m clearly struggling as well! But let’s not take for granted all the good things that come with being home. Saving up for future adventures, spending precious time with family and friends, enjoying all the food and luxuries you can’t get on the road.

And if it means that much to you, you’ll find your way back! Everyone I met while traveling is currently back at home saving up to set out again soon. You can’t appreciate the thrill of a million new and exciting experiences without time spent at home dreaming about them. You can’t appreciate the sunny days if you don’t have a few rainy days, and there are so many more adventures to come in our future.

If you’re struggling through Post Travel Depression, you’re not alone! It’s rough, but try your best to keep things in perspective, enjoy every phase of life, and you will make it through:)

If you want to talk, be sure to leave a comment below! Let’s be friends <3

Post Travel Depression — and 3 ways to overcome it